Last night I went to see “Inception” with some good friends and interestingly enough in an IMAX theater. After seeing what felt like an entire 30 minutes of previews I got to experience a film that was so good it may be the best film of our time. I wont get into specifics because quite frankly if you haven’t seen it, you should. One of the major themes in the film is the concept of reality.
The concept of reality.
Reality is based on perception, perception is based on perspective, perspective is based on an amalgamation of knowledge, and much of that knowledge is based in experience. Experiences can in most cases never be duplicated. If all that is true, then reality itself is subjective.
With that in mind let us begin.
What is truth? What is the difference between what’s real and what’s just us inserting information from past experiences to fill in the gaps of the unknown?
Why is this important or even worth talking about?
Relationships.
And I don’t mean just romantic relationships but friendships are prone to this as well.
The human mind has been proven (even beyond all rational thought) to attempt to organize things it cannot easily identify or understand into patterns. For this reason when you show several individuals a picture of an inkblot and ask them to tell you what they see you could get several different answers. This biological, social, knowledge and experienced based conjecture begins to form our “reality”.
How does this affect relationships?
“Everything is not always as it seems.” That statement is regarded as a sort of universal truth. However when confronted with situations we have no control over or have an increased difficulty understanding we begin to attempt to organize the situation in our mind so that it will begin to make sense even without facts or context.
Why isn’t (s)he talking to me?
Why hasn’t (s)he come to see me this week? We always hang out on Fridays…
I don’t even understand why (s)he’s mad I didn’t do anything wrong!
Here is where I tie all these admittedly abstract concepts together.
Your mind seeks to understand, to make a pattern of things that at the time do not make sense and because of it we can create problems all on our own. The questions above are prime examples of how we can drive ourselves bat shit crazy “trying to figure out what’s going on”. We tend to fill in the blanks with negatives or false positives like “theres someone else” or “hes just really busy” or “(insert any seemingly positive or REALLY negative reason for emotional or personal distance here).
The fact of the matter is we never really KNOW anything about another persons motivations, actions or even their reasoning because its all subjective guess work and reality isn’t reality at all and if its just our perception that shapes our reality then…..reality isn’t real?
Love Talk and Slow Jams.
This is my inaugural post and I don't know that I could have come up with a much better opener.
After a conversation with a rather interesting woman today, I decided that this was a post worthy issue.
At 13 years old no one really knows much about sex. Its execution beyond the technical or mechanical (if you will) aspects are a complete mystery to us. We know two things beyond a shadow of a doubt both male and female. Its kinda scary (because first times are scary in almost anything) and " you should be 'ready' "(what that means is open to interpretation). Most of us got our little permission slips signed to take sexual education, if not in middle school then in high school. You may have been like me and taken it in both periods of your life to varying degrees of hilarity. We had good ol' slides on the over head projector and maybe even a movie, and of course we can't forget the good ol scary STD pictures floated to us as a warning. In high school (if you went to FHS like me) I had a teacher by the name of Miss Adamako. She was one of the younger teachers for health and sexual education and the whole school in fact. Simply put she was BAD. Not just your average bad but a Masters in pubilc heath and a body that spoke volumes bad. She just may have been an Ebony Brown, and as good as she was as an educator there were things school simply cant teach you about sex or the opposite sex in general. This is where my real education started.
At 10pm EST Monday through Thursday and on Sunday nights THE DOPEST show ever to grace the radio waves would air. "Love Talk and Slow Jams with Justine and Todd B." was THAT show. The shows nights had themes like "erotic wendsday" and they had an open mic poetry slam that you could call in and preform on every thursday. Mind you the poetry preformed was often overtly sexual in nature but it was good, it was all good. During the run of the show I would just put on my headphone and shut out the world because THIS was my sexual education class. I learned everything from g-spot stimulation to the fact that if you shared a strong enough connection with your lover you could make them orgasim with just a touch (not even to their erogonious zones) and even more extreme without even touching them at all. (Yes ive tried it and YES it does work I bullshit you not) This show taught everything under the sun for those who were willing to listen. One night I recall in particular was one "Erotic Wendsday" when the topic was "Toys and Masterbation.". While this particular subject matter sounds like something you would see in a pornographic film, it was in fact a kind of forray into talking about the place masturbation has in a healthy relationship. Seems strange right? The concensus toward the end of the show was that a healthy relationship often involves masturbation. A topic question was asked around 11 which was "If you came home and 'caught' your partner masturbating, what would you do?". The responses were everything from "man id be mad if i walked in and caught my girl doing that" to "if i saw my man indulging himself i would just watch and wait until I decided to join in or he asked me to". SexEd at its finest.
This show more than any other class or experience shaped the kind of lover I am to this day and even the way I am in relationships. Many MANY nights were spent studing relationships and some nights were even Q&A involving various experts and even pornographic movie stars. People would call in and pose a scanario and ask what it meant for their relationship. I couldnt think of any better people to get advice from other than God himself. They kept it real, raw and unfiltered. It inspired me to do better, to be better and to try harder at sex, relationships, and even to write poetry from time to time. It told me and showed me how important it is to work on and to share a mental connection with your lover, one that is deeper than the desires of your body to where you can stimulate them right down to the core of their being with words, thoughts and perspective.
I would hope this show educated an entire era of young lovers who would grow into men who would want to do better and be better than the norm, than most of their male counterparts. There was a period of my life where I was Mr. Fix it in the WORST way. I was either fixing it or I was the first major male in her life. One of three things usually ended up happening. Either she would end up falling for me, I set the bar too high to where they could no longer be happy with "the typical male"(open to interpretation) or we ended up talking on a serious level (no bragging it just is what is it). Now I find myself ahead of the curve with a skill set thought of as me bragging, lying about what I can do, or as straight up non existant which is really sad. This was a spended show, full of knowledge and perspective and I was very sad when it ended some years ago.
To the ladies, "there are men who are interested in more than whats between your theighs. Ladies you are beautiful, treat yourselves as such and men will treat you like you are and with respect." - Justine Love
For the Fellas, "Dont be scared to please your woman with your mouth, with words and with your tongue. If you can stroke her cerebellum and that spot, she just might love you forever." - Todd B.
Love Talk and Slowjams. It was more than radio, it was a movement.
After a conversation with a rather interesting woman today, I decided that this was a post worthy issue.
At 13 years old no one really knows much about sex. Its execution beyond the technical or mechanical (if you will) aspects are a complete mystery to us. We know two things beyond a shadow of a doubt both male and female. Its kinda scary (because first times are scary in almost anything) and " you should be 'ready' "(what that means is open to interpretation). Most of us got our little permission slips signed to take sexual education, if not in middle school then in high school. You may have been like me and taken it in both periods of your life to varying degrees of hilarity. We had good ol' slides on the over head projector and maybe even a movie, and of course we can't forget the good ol scary STD pictures floated to us as a warning. In high school (if you went to FHS like me) I had a teacher by the name of Miss Adamako. She was one of the younger teachers for health and sexual education and the whole school in fact. Simply put she was BAD. Not just your average bad but a Masters in pubilc heath and a body that spoke volumes bad. She just may have been an Ebony Brown, and as good as she was as an educator there were things school simply cant teach you about sex or the opposite sex in general. This is where my real education started.
At 10pm EST Monday through Thursday and on Sunday nights THE DOPEST show ever to grace the radio waves would air. "Love Talk and Slow Jams with Justine and Todd B." was THAT show. The shows nights had themes like "erotic wendsday" and they had an open mic poetry slam that you could call in and preform on every thursday. Mind you the poetry preformed was often overtly sexual in nature but it was good, it was all good. During the run of the show I would just put on my headphone and shut out the world because THIS was my sexual education class. I learned everything from g-spot stimulation to the fact that if you shared a strong enough connection with your lover you could make them orgasim with just a touch (not even to their erogonious zones) and even more extreme without even touching them at all. (Yes ive tried it and YES it does work I bullshit you not) This show taught everything under the sun for those who were willing to listen. One night I recall in particular was one "Erotic Wendsday" when the topic was "Toys and Masterbation.". While this particular subject matter sounds like something you would see in a pornographic film, it was in fact a kind of forray into talking about the place masturbation has in a healthy relationship. Seems strange right? The concensus toward the end of the show was that a healthy relationship often involves masturbation. A topic question was asked around 11 which was "If you came home and 'caught' your partner masturbating, what would you do?". The responses were everything from "man id be mad if i walked in and caught my girl doing that" to "if i saw my man indulging himself i would just watch and wait until I decided to join in or he asked me to". SexEd at its finest.
This show more than any other class or experience shaped the kind of lover I am to this day and even the way I am in relationships. Many MANY nights were spent studing relationships and some nights were even Q&A involving various experts and even pornographic movie stars. People would call in and pose a scanario and ask what it meant for their relationship. I couldnt think of any better people to get advice from other than God himself. They kept it real, raw and unfiltered. It inspired me to do better, to be better and to try harder at sex, relationships, and even to write poetry from time to time. It told me and showed me how important it is to work on and to share a mental connection with your lover, one that is deeper than the desires of your body to where you can stimulate them right down to the core of their being with words, thoughts and perspective.
I would hope this show educated an entire era of young lovers who would grow into men who would want to do better and be better than the norm, than most of their male counterparts. There was a period of my life where I was Mr. Fix it in the WORST way. I was either fixing it or I was the first major male in her life. One of three things usually ended up happening. Either she would end up falling for me, I set the bar too high to where they could no longer be happy with "the typical male"(open to interpretation) or we ended up talking on a serious level (no bragging it just is what is it). Now I find myself ahead of the curve with a skill set thought of as me bragging, lying about what I can do, or as straight up non existant which is really sad. This was a spended show, full of knowledge and perspective and I was very sad when it ended some years ago.
To the ladies, "there are men who are interested in more than whats between your theighs. Ladies you are beautiful, treat yourselves as such and men will treat you like you are and with respect." - Justine Love
For the Fellas, "Dont be scared to please your woman with your mouth, with words and with your tongue. If you can stroke her cerebellum and that spot, she just might love you forever." - Todd B.
Love Talk and Slowjams. It was more than radio, it was a movement.
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